"German blowjob ikea and oktober"

The word sequence someone typed into google.dk, and ended up on my blog. I don't know anyone from Denmark, so they can't have been looking for my blog. What the hell WERE they looking for?!

(I was inspired to look at my 'stats' cos I saw on Max's blog that you can see what people search to find you...how exciting...)

I have worked 2 hours this week. 7 of the other lessons I was meant to be in were cancelled for various reasons (teacher being ill, class being on a trip, 'Projekt Tag', unexplained absence). My job has had a 20% success rate this week. If my class tomorrow has some reason that I don't need to be in it (as has happened every time I've gone to said class since November, bar once), then I will have worked a 2 hour week.

I sort of love this job. I'm also getting sort of bored and wondering if it would actually be more beneficial if I sometimes had to do actual work.

Bochum gaying again tomorrow. Hopefully this time, no random gay guy will take me to one side and gently ask me if I'm a girl and Glen is a boy. I intend to wear a dress to avoid confusion- then again, in Stargate club, that doesn't necessarily make me a girl.

Dora.
xxx

Sleepy Dora.

Last night I went to bed at half 9 because I was exhausted from a working day that lasted from 7.50am till 3.30pm. I was only actually working for 4 hours, one of which I just had to sit and watch a film. It was probably still the longest day I've had since getting to Germany. To make up for it, today I did my usual Friday morning routine of "get up at half 6, trudge into school, turn up at lesson to find that the teacher is away, trudge home again".

I also tried to figure out the following things on my own:
- where my postbox is
- how to load money onto my student card in order to use the washing machines at my Wohnheim.
I failed on both counts. I think I'll ask my flatmates. I've lived here since December and I haven't yet done washing or checked my post. Maybe Glen was right to tell me to sort my life out, though in my defence, I'm yet to run out of clothes and I doubt anyone is trying to contact me via post.

On Wednesday, we had this meeting in Dortmund. It was about as pointful as I expected (i.e. not very). Me and Glen spent the whole trip there whinging and considering ditching it in favour of Dortmund-based shopping. But we made it there in the end. I'm glad we did, if only because afterwards we went out with some American language assistants, who took us to a bar called Wenkers. Cue massive LOLs.

So, after a productive week, I'm rewarding myself with a trip to Gummersbach today, and to Holland tomorrow. Maybe I could just bring all my washing with me and wash it at my grandparents' house...NO, I really have to sort my own life out! Tut.

Dora.
xxx

This Video is Not Available in Your Country

1- this is not MY country.
2- discriminating or what?! No wonder German pop is so bad; they're not allowed to listen to the good songs!

Bad youtube.

Lucky for me, my flatmates have alright taste and very loud speakers, so at the moment I'm just leaving my door open and enjoying the free tunes.

I currently have a lot of time on my hands, while waiting for my Betreuungslehrerin to get back to me and tell me what lessons I'm meant to be in this term. I did fragen, but she is always busy and is yet to get back to me. So as yet, I have no lessons to go to today, or tomorrow. I wonder when it will start feeling like I have a job. What worries me more is when exactly she will suddenly spring another 6 lessons on me, in which I have no idea what to do.

German efficiency. We have established it is a complete myth.

I spent the weekend in the countryside village of Morsbach (which translates as Arse Creek). Here are some of the things we encountered there.

Pig Statues

A very reasonable speed limit for tanks

A stuffed squirrel, complete with wings and horns glued on.

It was really really fun. Proof that we don't need an exciting city to enjoy ourselves. We tried to go to the pub, but it was closed when we arrived there at 9.30pm. So instead, we went back to Heidi's flat and drank a lot of wine.

We also climbed a mountain, and then a viewing tower on top of the mountain. Proud. Me and Glen have let ourselves off jogging for a while, seeing as this was ample exercise to last a few weeks, I reckon.


Today my task is to buy a lightbulb, and formulate a plan for the weekend, when I'm visiting Marina in Gummersbach (Sticky Stream), and then heading to Wijhe, Holland, for my Oma's birthday. It takes a bloody long time to get there.

Dora.
xxx

How England makes me incompetent

Over Christmas, I forgot how to function on my own. This tends to happen when I go home and have parents to look after me again. I don't cook for myself, I lose everything, I sleep all the time, I stop making to-do lists and therefore stop doing anything.

I wasn't even surprised when I discovered, an hour before leaving for the airport, that I'd booked my flight for the wrong day. This put me in a right state, even though I managed to change it and fly when I wanted to fly. Luckily, Glen was getting the same flight as me, and was there to stop me from getting any more lost and confused. I arrived safely back in Bochum, on time, without ever having to tell my school what a dunce I am.

Now I'm back, it feels like I never left. Things are much the same, really. New timetable equals new classes to hang out in, and hopefully less time spent in lessons that clearly don't need me, sitting quietly and trying not to fall asleep.

This weekend, me and Glen are invading the quiet village of Morsbach, home to the lovely Heidi, and from what I've heard, almost no one else. I hope they're ready for us. We intend to wreak havoc. 

Sophie's coming on an impromptu visit to Bochum tomorrow; I hope she's impressed with my new abode. I know I am.

In other exciting news, four of my friends from Watford are coming to visit in April for a weekend. I have of course warned them ahead that Germany is odd, but very pleased that they are willing to trekk all the way here to see me. That's more people than ever made it to Leeds to visit me when I lived there...impressive.

Anyway, I have to try and read A Streetcar Named Desire and understand it sufficiently to teach some 17 year olds all about it, in about an hour. Interesting updates to resume soon, probably.

Laters,
Dora.
xxx

I'm going back to Deutschland tomorrow.

I haven't packed yet. Not even a little bit. I have bought a stack of magazines and newspapers to use in lessons (not that I ever actually take lessons...) though, which feels quite productive. And stolen some good ideas from my Dad. It is useful having a resident EFL teacher.

Tomorrow I intend to buy a new phone to use in Germany. Hopefully one that can make calls AND send texts! (therefore an upgrade from my 7 euro failphone, which only sometimes actually sends the texts I write)

I'm flying back at 7 in the evening. Glen is getting the same plane as me. I am very excited about this.

I also don't actually know what, if anything, I'm doing at school on Tuesday.

Today was my last full day in the UK. I woke up hungover, went into Watford for a massive fry-up and a cup of tea, then came home and ate Sunday Lunch about an hour later. Followed by several more cups of tea, and a few episodes of Come Dine With Me. I will miss you, Britain.

Dora.
xxx